Just
before we went to Switzerland I took delivery of a new pair of
polarised, photo chromic, varifocal glasses. One day all glasses will
have head up displays to the Internet but at the moment I've got the
smartest ones you can get without having to buy a Euro Fighter.
Obviously, there has to be a snag.
Arriving
at Liverpool Airport I looked at the departures board to find it was
completely empty – just a plain black rectangle. The effect
reminded me of the “peril sensitive” glasses in the Hitch Hikers
Guide to the Galaxy. (the ultimate accessory for laid back people
they automatically blacked out anything alarming - a brilliant idea
with the fatal flaw that the wearer never knew when to duck)
Remembering my basic physics, I cocked my head at 90 degrees like a
budgie and the flight details magically appeared.
Apart
from the odd black hole everything was pretty much OK until we'd got
towards the Canary Islands. As the sunlight became stronger, the
windows of the ship became swirling patterns of colour. Fortunately
I realised what was happening before I got the full psychedelic
effect – otherwise I'd have probably sat on the floor and started
sucking my thumb. All the ship's windows are toughened glass and
some also have film coatings. For some reason my x-ray specs amplify
the patterns that you sometimes see on this type of glazing many
times over. I'm sure that the Internet will tell me why when we get
home.
Anyway,
some windows became threepenny bit sized lenses with each lens
displaying a spectrum of rainbow colours. Others had larger swirls
of colour like oil on water. Between these extremes the patterns and
colours mixed and moved in endless combinations. Although the colours
were strong they were translucent and I could still see the views
although perhaps not in the colours that God had intended. The trick
was to pick a window where the colours matched the view – blue at
the top and green at the bottom worked best.
Just
in case you think I'm making this up (who me!) I took a photo using
my glasses as a camera filter. It wouldn't focus on the more
intricate patterns so I had to pick an oily one. It's nowhere near
as vivid as the real thing but you'll get the general idea. After a
while, I got to quite like the effect and I miss it now we're back in
less sunny waters. If you think about how much you'd have to spend
on illegal substances to view the world like this for several days my
new glasses have turned out to be a real bargain.
Dave
